Does my wish to ‘go it alone’ have something to do with mass immigration into the UK? Err, no! Loss of sovereignty/ceding power to 28 unelected EU Commissioners? Err, no! I want to leave the EU because…of the 2014 Europe-wide ban on powerful vacuum cleaners! It now takes me twice as long to vacuum my home, time I would previously have spent with my head in the fridge! The second wave of EU restrictions on quick boil kettles, toasters, hair dryers and quick charge sex toys has been delayed due to a British national outcry, and quite right too! And by the way, who the f**k are these unelected foreigners who decide how we should spend our time? If they are so committed to saving energy, why don’t they keep their lips firmly shut!