Many people believe aliens have been studying us from outer space for very, very long time. If this is true, then it stands to reason extra-terrestrials simply must have seen the movie War of the Worlds, in which an advanced alien species were finally brought to their knees by the common cold! It may well be, any technologically advanced alien force has been put off making first contact will us due to their fear of contracting Aids and other STDs, Ebola, the Zika virus, Avian flu and Necrotizing Fasciitis, all the diseases and viruses colonists will no doubt take with them to Mars. I for one have done my bit to deter any foreign invading force from landing. Having just bought a small guest house, the first thing I did was to place a notice in my front window: “No pets, no aliens.” Unfortunately, a council jobsworth came round and ordered me to take the notice down. “We’re in the EU. You can’t bar aliens.” When I explained it wasn’t my intention to bar EU aliens, but aliens from further afield, he insisted on inspecting the premises to make sure my guesthouse was indeed ‘extra-terrestrial unfriendly’. You can’t f**king win!