THE CURE FOR LARYNGITIS? GO FOR A CRACK, SACK & BACK!

Grand Inquisitor Tomás de Torquemada

Grand Inquisitor Tomás de Torquemada (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Or a back, sack & crack. It doesn’t matter in what order you receive this cruel and unusual form of punishment, invented by Tomas de Torquemada, First Grand Inquisitor Of Spain. I got it as a birthday present from an EX-girlfriend. Basically it starts with an endless stream of lies. “Put your preconceptions aside. Its not as bad as you’ve heard. It’s merely wax on, and pull off. Honestly, you’ll hardly feel a thing!” Well folks, I screamed so loud that I completely forgot about my laryngitis. Had I known how painful the treatment was, I would have happily volunteered for exploratory route canal instead! So don’t do it. If you happen to be as hairy as a lycanthrope, well, accept yourself for who you are and opt for a centre chest parting!

 

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