Bearing in mind, the cost of the average funeral is £6,000 per head, more if a bereaved party wants the rest of the deceased’s body buried, more and more people are purchasing funeral plans due to the high cost of internment. For just a few pounds a week you’re covered. No medical, no exclusion clauses. How brilliant is that? Since I have a have an insurance brokerage licence dating back several years, you might be interested to know, I’m seriously thinking marketing my own funeral plan. My idea is so bloody unique, why if I go ahead with my plans, I expect to steal a march on any competition! Under my funeral plan, a prospective client will definitely have to take a medical, and appropriately ‘rated’ if there is any evidence of heart disease, diabetes, cancer or a history of trapped wind that could lead to a fatal case of internal combustion. Further exclusion clauses will include being barred from taking up a pre–paid funeral if a policyholder dies in an accident, by his own hand or from a terrorist atrocity. Naturally, an obese policyholder will have to be charged…by the inch! I’m already looking at apartments in Manhattan!