New Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn stated, ‘Anti-Semitism is absolutely abhorrent and wrong, and any anti-Semites will be rooted out of the Labour Party’. This announcement came after a ‘well-known’ grass-roots Labour member claimed a British Jew attempted to ‘murder’ him after handing him a ‘dry’ smoke salmon, cream cheese bagel. Christ man, most people know to eat said murder weapon with a pickled gherkin as a digestive aid! Rather than concentrating on rooting out anti-Semitism from society, I feel we should concentrate on rooting out anti…matter! I once inadvertently created some with the aid of a home chemistry set, and nearly blew off my balls! They and I had to go into therapy! Why if I hadn’t had the foresight to flush the anti-matter down the toilet, I may well have blown up my house instead of my neighbour’s! One would hope, should Jeremy Corbyn ever become Prime Minister, one of the very first things he would do, would be to outlaw ‘zero-hour’ contracts, which of course would immediately force one million people to go on the dole, so ‘no’, zero-hour contracts are here to stay! So much for Labour banning restrictive employment practices! We may as well re-elect the Conservatives. Better the devil we know, right?