MAN SPREADING!

suspicious package 1

When it comes to levelling at me, if you spoke to my friends, most of them they would say I had skin as thick as a rhino’s! Not so when it comes to skin allergies and ‘harsh’ washing powder products! So, I was on the tube the other day, on my way to meet friends in Covent Garden. Unfortunately I never made it! Unfortunately, my genitalia had been ‘adversely’ affected by underpants that had been mistakenly washed in ‘biological’ as opposed to ‘non-bio’ washing powder. In order to relieve my discomfort, I indulged in a little bit of ‘man spreading’. A woman sitting opposite, first glanced at me, and then at a notice on the advertising hoarding above my head. Next she rose, ran to the end of the carriage and pulled the emergency handle. When the train entered the next station, police stormed the carriage, and the female passenger had words with them. The next thing I knew, I was escorted off of the train, which continued its journey without me! Frankly I didn’t look anything like an ‘underpants bomber’! “Yea Gods officer, I would never, never risk the health of my ‘privates’ by sticking dynamite down my pants!”

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