Following the revelations of the ‘Culture’ Minister, John Whittingdale’s sexual encounters with a dominatrix, it has been suggested that an extra £100 million be added onto the £7 billion plus Palace of Westminster’s refurbishment budget, this extra sum to be spent on a state of the art, soundproofed, basement sex dungeon, where overweight and out of condition politicians and peers can be ‘whipped’ into shape, away from the prying eyes of the Press! It has further been suggested, a secret underground corridor be constructed, leading from the dungeon to both voting chambers, allowing our overpaid and underworked rulers to remain in ‘uniform’, ensuring their timely arrival on crucial voting matters that affect you and I, without the need to first change! It is not a comforting thought, that our future wellbeing may be determined by men dressed as Alice in Wonderland, Nazi Adolph Hitler, a French maid and a pantomime horse? Since a highly drug resistant type of ‘super-gonorrhoea’ is spreading across the country at a rate of knots, perhaps the best place for a sex dungeon is underground after all?


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