COUGHING UP PHLEGM!

the-end-is-nigh

Hello folks, I bet you’re wondering why you haven’t heard from me for while? Well, I’ve had trapped wind! Recently I ‘ve had a spate of unwanted emails regarding health insurance, life insurance and funeral packages! Generally speaking I’m an upbeat kind of fella, however it’s hard to remain positive when one is constantly reminded of one’s mortality! Although my end is probably a long way off, I had intended opting for cremation, however, having had sight of some really lovely looking coffins, I’m going for the expensive option, burial! The thing is, I must make sure I don’t pay for a brand new knotty pine casket only to end up in a mortician’s  ‘pre-used’ coffin! I’m quite happy to be behind the wheel of a second-hand car, but I definitely draw the line at interment in a second-hand casket! By the way, why is there a ‘G’ in phlegm if one doesn’t use it? All those silent letters out there make my arse itch!

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