SHOULD REFORMED DRUG ADDICTS BECOME MAGISTRATES?

Birmingham Magistrates’ Courts / Victoria Law Courts (Photo credit: ell brown)

According to the influential think tank Policy Exchange, ex-offenders should be given a key role in the justice system, and following an overhaul of the composition of magistrates’ benches, should be encouraged to become magistrates themselves! Now I’m all for reintegrating ex-offenders into society, but on magistrates’ benches? That may be a step too far, after all, impartiality is the key to overseeing justice is dispensed. Don’t they say…’once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic’? The same could be said of ex-drug offenders. Might not a magistrate who once took drugs favour a defendant appearing in court on drugs charges? Frankly the idea is ridiculous!

I’M ADDICTED TO SMOKING!

Commercial herring catch (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It didn’t start out as an addiction…I’d only do it now and again, but now I smoke almost every day. The weekends I live in my shed and smoke continuously, but I’m not to blame for my addiction. You see my neighbours got to hear how good my kippers were and brought round their herrings for smoking. Pretty soon the word got out and I was smoking for everyone. I split the herring in butterfly fashion from tail to head along the dorsal ridge, gut them and then salt them before cold smoking the herring over smouldering oak woodchips. Honestly, my kippers really are to die for. GOTCHA!