This year’s MISS WORLD took place in BALI, Indonesia, a popular destination for Western tourists and considered a bit…louche! In an effort not to offend hardline Muslims BIKINIS have been banned from this year’s beauty pageant. Apparently this isn’t going far enough. Some people are demanding a FULL cover-up, this to include an abaya (full body gown), a hijab (head covering) and a burqa (face covering). If these changes are implemented then this will be the first time ever a Miss World competition will be decided by eye-colouring only. I think this would be dreadfully unfair for any competitor with an astigmatism, or for that matter any one who is cross-eyed! Get your kit off girls, oh and don’t forget the BIKINI WAX, for God forbid you offend the hardline Muslims who lobbied unsuccessfully to have a ‘timed’ AK47 strip down contest included in this year’s competition!