JAMIE OLIVER…STOP SLAGGING OFF THE BRITISH WORKER!

I love the green market. I walk through every ...

I love the green market. I walk through every morning on the way to work and it smells amazing. It was cuter than usual when Jamie Oliver was there (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The champion of spoken English, celebrity cook, multi-millionaire and the soon to be Knighted JAMIE OLIVER has been rather vocal in slagging off British workers for being LAZY, comparing us to the ‘hard working’ and ‘reliable’ POLISH & LITHUANIANS who he employs in his numerous eateries.

First of all, I’ve toiled in a restaurant, and it is bloody hard work, and for very little pay. Really, it’s not for the faint-hearted. Prior to the maximum 48 hour week being imposed by the EU, you would be expected to work 80-100 hours per week! Unless you intended to one day open your own restaurant, only a fool would do it! Toiling in a professional kitchen is tantamount to SLAVE LABOUR!

Most of the Polish and Lithuanians who have arrived on our shores are only too happy to work for minimum wage, for it is a lot more than they could hope to earn back home. Many of them are from peasant stock who are used to manual labour. I would also like to point out to ‘Sir’ Jamie, that in the last 5 years BENEFIT CLAIMS by EU foreign nationals have increased by 40%…or 51,430! So they are not ALL hard workers, only the few Eastern Europeans Jamie ‘O’ has met. Not everything is black and white!

Bus driving is no career choice…it is a job one tends to ‘fall’ into. Having said that, it is a damn sight better job than working in someone else’s KITCHEN!

NIGELLA LAWSON BREAKS WIND…err, ‘TWITTER’ SILENCE!

Nigella Lawson at a Borders book-signing

Nigella Lawson at a Borders book-signing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

TV chefetta Nigella Lawson has broken her silence on Twitter amidst a series of allegations being made against her in court. She spoke up on the day she was described as an habitual criminal” by Anthony Metzer QC, during pre-trial proceedings. It comes a day after Isleworth Crown Court in west London heard former husband Charles Saatchi alleged Lawson was “so off your head on drugs.”

Lawson tweeted a recipe for “Holiday Hotcake” as the “perfect recipe to show thanks for all your support & to those who hashtag #teamNigella. Italian sisters Francesca and Elisabetta Grillo are due to go on trial accused of using a company credit card to buy themselves designer handbags and flights while working as personal assistants to Lawson and Saatchi. Under cross examination the sisters can expect to be severely grilloed! Saatchi alleges that ex-wife Lawson was so high on drugs that she was unaware of what she had or had not permitted the sisters to spend money on. Meanwhile Nigella Lawson is steeling herself, for she is expected to give evidence during the trial. Oh how f**king embarrassing…and humiliating it’s going to be! Cocaine is God’s way of telling you, you’re making too much money!

THE PURRRFECT DIET!

Español: Beluga caviar

Español: Beluga caviar (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Celebrity chef Simon Rimmer and TV vet Joe Inglis have developed the world’s most nutritious and luxurious cat food that will cost owners £24:99 per portion, over £9000 per year, and over £127,000 over 14 years, the apparent life of a domestic cat. What is this extra special diet? Tender leg of roast duck, lobster sushi roll, Beluga caviar and beetroot jellies. Why not go the whole hog and offer the kitty cat oysters and a Civet coffee at £50 a cup? I might serve the food up to a dog, but never a cat!

CELEBRITY WATCH!

An artist's impression of Nigella Lawson by Pa...

An artist’s impression of Nigella Lawson by Paul Harvey (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Advertising guru and world famous modern art collector Charles Saatchi was photographed allegedly grabbing his wife’s throat during a supposed argument in Scott’s seafood restaurant, Mayfair. In case you didn’t know, the gentleman’s wife is TV cook, author and all-round media personality Nigella Lawson who has recently travelled across the US promoting her new book and successful television series. Clearly absence DOESN’T make the heart grow fonder! If Charles Saatchi is ever questioned by the police about the alleged battery upon his wife, well, he could use the excuse, “My fingers may well have been around my wife’s throat, but it was an example of INSTALLATION art…my fingers were momentarily INSTALLED around Nigella’s throat.”