Two of the Tower’s eight ravens have been killed by a fox. Tradition states that if the ravens should die or disappear then the Tower, and perhaps the Kingdom itself, shall fall. It has yet to be determined whether the fox had any political affiliations. In the meantime the British Prime Minister ‘Dave the Rave’ Cameron has called an emergency meeting of COBRA, (Cabinet Office Briefing Room A) on Whitehall. The deaths of ravens Jubilee and Gripp are thought to be so serious a matter that the PM has even recalled the Foreign Secretary from his trip to Euro Disney!
“We must resume fox-hunting immediately,” said Major-General Sir Albert Clinkbottom, KG, AC/DC, RSVP. “Deploy the Army. Hunt down those mangy varmints…show them no mercy. Someone saddle my f**king horse!” Following the meeting, those in attendance observed a two-minute silence for those selfless servants of the Crown, ravens Jubilee and Gripp.