ANYONE FOR A KIDNEY?

English: Structure of the kidney

English: Structure of the kidney (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A study by Cambridge University researchers and the NHS Blood and Transplant Authority published in the British Journal of Anaesthesia reveals that Cardiff has the highest number of people who donate their kidneys after they die, and Glasgow has the lowest donation rate. Bearing in mind both cities have the highest number of late night opening fatty fast food outlets in the UK, the question you must ask yourself is, how desperate are you to have a kidney? Respect to Glasgow citizens!

THINK BEFORE YOU TWEET!

Twitter

Twitter (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

‘Think before you speak!’ Remember being told that by a parent or teacher? Just because a thought occurs to you, it doesn’t mean it will be looked upon favourably when you announce it! You might make yourself look a fool, or you may unintentionally offend someone! With easy access to Twitter some people announce their thoughts via their fingertips before they’ve given themselves a chance to consider the consequences! Re-tweeting the protected names of sexual violence victims, or revealing the details of an ongoing trial, thereby causing bias, or libelling someone in the public eye, or making unfunny, crass comments about a helicopter crash landing on a Glasgow pub, an accident in which people died. Think before you tweet! 

CHRISTIAN ONLY FLU JABS!

NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde

NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

SCOTLAND’S largest immunisation programme has been delayed after Muslim parents raised concerns that the vaccination contained pork gelatine. Around 100,000 primary schools children from across Scotland are being offered the nasal spray Fluenz.

NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde said the roll-out had been postponed for a few days after parents at Glendale Primary in  Pollokshields on the south side of Glasgow became aware of the issue. Parents will now be able to request that their child receives the vaccination by the ‘old fashioned’ injection method rather than through the nasal spray. A spokesperson for the makers of Fluenz said; “Muslims and Jews need not fret. The miniscule amount of pork gelatine in our product will not affect taste buds. No one will suddenly get a taste for pork chops & apple sauce!”

THERE IS NO END TO BLACKMAIL, ONLY A BEGINNING!

English: transhooker katjapueppi working on st...

English: transhooker katjapueppi working on street Deutsch: Transvestit Katjapueppi auf dem Strassenstrich (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A millionaire and married father of three gave £628,000 to a man who threatened to reveal he had SEX with a rent boy! Known only by the pseudonym ‘Barnaby’, he told Chelmsford Crown Court that he was a ‘bloody fool’ for paying up. My question is this, if one is a MILLIONAIRE, why RENT when you can afford to BUY?

LIBERAL DEMOCRATS LIVE ON ‘FANTASY ISLAND’!

English: United Kingdom's Deputy Prime Minster...

English: United Kingdom’s Deputy Prime Minster and Lord President of the Council Nick Clegg. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Please listen to the following WITHOUT LAUGHING!

Under UK Liberal Democrat plans to force everyone to go green, petrol and diesel cars would be BANNED ENTIRELY from Britain’s roads by 2040. Nick Clegg’s party has unveiled proposals to only allow ultra-low carbon vehicles, such as electric cars and hybrids, by that  year. However, although ordinary petrol and diesel cars would be banned, such vehicles would still be allowed for freight  purposes.

Furthermore, the Lib Dems would also like to see local councils given the power to impose road tolls to ease congestion in city centres.

The plans, which have the support of the  party leadership, will be voted on by delegates at next month’s Lib Dem  conference in Glasgow. If members vote yes, the policy will have to  be included in the Lib Dem manifesto for the next election. In the years until the ban comes into force, the Lib Dems want to charge HIGHER TAXES on petrol and  diesel cars to persuade motorists to move towards greener alternative. As part of the party’s plans to create a  ‘zero-carbon’ Britain, the Lib Dems could also EMBRACE nuclear power and shale gas exploration.

HAVE YOU STOPPED LAUGHING YET?

  1. The Liberal Democrats don’t have ‘real’ power now, and are unlikely to have it. This is their first ‘taste’ of power in 90 years, and only got it due to the 2007 world financial debacle.
  2. Governments don’t make policy. Corporations make policy. Do you honestly think Shell or ExxonMobile would ALLOW any British government to cut their throats by banning petrol/diesel vehicles?
  3. Without the daily petrol/diesel tax propping up the Treasury, the government would fall.
  4. If one million people had electric cars, the cost of recharging either at home or outside would probably be economical, but when five million people have electric vehicles, the cost of recharging over say a year, would be higher than if you ran a vehicle on petrol. You don’t believe me? Well let me remind you what the oil companies did when ‘clean’ diesel came out. For the first year or so it was lower in price than petrol, but when a sufficient number of diesel vehicles were sold, the price went up above petrol, and stayed there.
  5. Lib Dems call nuclear power and fracking, GOING GREEN. Are they F**K MAD? Do you really want 30, 40, 50 nuclear power stations dotted around the country, any one of which could be targeted by terrorists, eco or Islamic Jihadists? As far as fracking is concerned, I’ve already voiced my opinion on that subject, but I will reiterate! Fracking causes earthquakes. In 40 years time, there will be areas of Britain where you will not be able to get a mortgage on a house because it will fail the survey. Likewise, due to subsidence and seismic activity, you will not be able to sell an existing property.
  6. Certainly, at some point in the future, we will ALL be driving electric cars, but not in 27 years. More likely, 100 years!

I don’t support any particular political party, but if you ever voted the Liberal Democrats into office, well, expect REVOLUTION. That is, BLOOD ON THE STREETS! Go on you Lib Dems, I dare you…take away an individual’s ability to put food on the table! It’ll be the food off YOUR table that we take!

FORMER ‘SPIN DOCTOR’ COULSON CHARGED WITH PERJURY!

Dr. Joseph Goebbels, head of Germany's Ministr...

Dr. Joseph Goebbels, head of Germany’s Ministry of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda. His masterful use of propaganda for Adolf Hitler and the NSDAP made him a prototype of the modern spin doctor in public conscience. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Andy Coulson, the former Downing Street ‘director of communications’ has appeared in Scot-i-land’s Glasgow Sheriff’s Court charged with perjury. Personally, I would let the poor man off! After all, lying for a living is a spin doctor’s stock in trade. It is after all his job to put a positive spin on a negative situation. A decent, effective spin doctor will lie at his own reflection. Can you imagine a spin doctor…any spin doctor visiting his doctor with an annoying problem?

“Doctor, doctor…I’m in terrible trouble…what can you give me?”

“But what seems to be the problem?”

“Doctor, try as I might, I’ve not been able to prevent myself from telling the truth, and as you know, there’s no room in politics for the truth!”

Historically Dr Joseph Goebbels remains the ultimate spin doctor!