ONLINE ‘HALAL’ SEX SHOP!

English: Kaaba at the heart of Mecca. As the n...

English: Kaaba at the heart of Mecca. As the night goes on pilgrims visiting the Holy House. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Turkish entrepreneur Haluk Murat Demirel, 38, claims to have opened the first online sex shop for Muslims, selling everything from lubricants to herbal aphrodisiacs and offering advice on how to have “halal” sex. Apparently  www.bayan.helalsexshop.com, does not sell battery-operated devices, for they are not approved by Islam. Since the site’s launch last Tuesday it has received over 33,000 visitors. My question is this! What is Halal sex? How does it differ from Christian or Jewish sex? Presumably, neither party must face Mecca!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD…

A McDonalds location in Moncton (mountain road...

A McDonalds location in Moncton (mountain road). I took the picture and touched it up in Photoshop CS3 myself. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

no doubt to get away from a kosher butcher! The only two McDonald’s restaurants in the US that served halal food have ceased doing so. The franchisee of one of the two outlets in Detroit agreed a $700,000 settlement back in April 2013 after allegations that the restaurant falsely advertised its food as being prepared according to Islamic dietary law. The last time I ate a whole halal chicken, it tasted like it had been gang-raped, beaten for STOCK tips and then murdered. I must say, it was most delicious!

IN MARCH 2013 BRITAIN CAME WITHIN 6 HOURS OF RUNNING OUT OF GAS!

USS John C. Stennis and the smaller British In...

USS John C. Stennis and the smaller British Invincible-class HMS Illustrious operating together, April 1998. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Apparently this was due to severe winter weather. Surely, UK being the ‘take-away’ capital of Europe, there must be at any one time enough GAS produced in high streets to run a frigging aircraft carrier? Never mind installing public urinals, we should have public gas collection points. Halal, Kosher and non-denominational gas…it’s all the same to me, so long as my feet don’t get cold!