Scientists have accidentally discovered a completely new form of matter that works in the same way as the lightsabers used in Star Wars. A team of physicists were messing around with photons when they managed to get the particles to stick together and form a molecule. The molecule behaves they claim just like a lightsaber by moving the light particles around in a solid mass and is unlike any matter seen before. Yes yes, but can they cut down your enemies or get you a seat on a bus?
Jedi, Druid and Pagan weddings could be made legal across Britain under proposals from MPs. A group of MPs want to amend the same-sex marriage bill to allow humanist weddings for couples. But Tories say that such a change would ‘dilute’ marriage by allowing other sects, such as Jedis to claim the same powers. I say HOORAH! What the f**k does it matter who marries who? The divorce rate for NORMAL heterosexual couples now stands at 50% anyway. Two Jedis marrying under a guard of honour, all wielding light sabers…FAB!
One often hears about Western Mosques being used to radicalise young Muslim men and women leading individuals to plan and execute acts of terror. Now I don’t care whether you claim to be Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Hindu or even a Jedi Knight. If it is proved CONCLUSIVELY that your Temple has been used to radicalise a Faith follower, then said Temple must be PUBLICALLY BULLDOZED. Let the message go out that a Temple must only be used as a place of true worship and contemplation. You wish to radicalise the young, then have the guts to try it on Sunday morning at Speaker’s Corner. Enough said!