IS IT ROBIN HOOD…OR ROBYN HODE?

English: The Robin Hood Way, Sherwood Forest T...

English: The Robin Hood Way, Sherwood Forest This is a Long Distance Footpath which is considered “challenging” in some parts but here in Sherwood Forest Country Park it is a pleasant walk through a beautiful forest. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thousands of ROBIN HOOD enthusiasts intend flooding into Nottinghamshire to celebrate the annual festival devoted to the outlaw, with attractions including jousting, falconry and medieval music. What, no archery?

Assuming for a moment the man actually existed, Hood was probably a yeoman, not an aristo, and probably hailed from Yorkshire, not Nottinghamshire. One other thing I would like to make clear. Hood’s merry men were ‘merry’, not because they were dolts, but due to the fact they were forever pissed on mead (honeywine).

Questions that need to be addressed! Was the maid Marion VIRGO INTACTA? If so, then Robin ‘made’ Marion? Did the couple set up home with a mortgage from the Sherwood Forest Building Society? Was the Sheriff of Nottingham’s real name Alan Rickman? Did Little John/John Little suffer from penis envy? Did Frenchie King Richard really take a dump in Sherwood Forest, and was he really charged for using the facilities?

No doubt during the present day festivities the pickpockets will be out in force, stealing from the poor, and keeping it! Now THAT’S entrepreneurship!

STILTON OR NOT STILTON…THE CHEESE WAR!

English: Blue Stilton PDO Cheese, one quarter ...

English: Blue Stilton PDO Cheese, one quarter of a half loaf (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A new war has broken out, and it is over STILTON! The village of Stilton in Cambridgeshire hopes to overturn a sixteen year EU ban on the making of the world famous cheese. Under EU law stilton can only be made in dairies in Nottinghamshire, Derbyshire and Leicestershire because it was thought that the famous cheese was only ever TRADED in the village of Stilton and never actually PRODUCED there, but new historical evidence suggests that it was in fact once produced in the village. The Department of Food & Rural Affairs are backing the new claim.

As one gets on in years, well, I suspect the last thing one want to see are any more BLUE VEINS.

THINKING OF BUYING A SECOND HAND CAR?

“Honda_Cars_Car_dealership_Tokorozawa_Saitama”

“Honda_Cars_Car_dealership_Tokorozawa_Saitama” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Car dealer Adil Hussain, 26, from Lenton, Nottinghamshire, who wound back clocks to wipe SIX MILLION miles off used cars and forged service histories of 74 vehicles he advertised online, has been jailed for fraud and ordered to repay £390,000.

I have a rule, and it is this! When buying a pre-used car, I always buy from a main agent. Buy a Honda from a Honda dealership and a Ford from a Ford dealership! Sure you pay a little bit more, but at least you get peace of mind! Right or wrong, I always assume second-hand car dealers act unscrupulously. It must be too much of a temptation not to clock a car!