MAGGIE MAY!

Margaret Thatcher with Ronald Reagan at Camp David

Margaret Thatcher with Ronald Reagan at Camp David (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Long before coining the phrase, ‘This lady is not for turning’, Margaret Thatcher, Leader of The Government’s Opposition visited a large dairy in Glamorganshire. When asked if she would like to have a go at making butta, Margaret replied, ‘This lady is not for churning’! 

 

THE ‘ENIGMA’ OF TONY BLAIR!

Tony Blair, Prime Minister of the United Kingd...

Tony Blair, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom 1997-2007. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Senior Conservative ministers have rejected an attempt by former UK Prime Minister, Middle East Peace envoy and Papal mate, Emperor Anthony Charles Lynton Blair to get millions of pounds from the Government to support the work of his personal foundation in Africa. If the man is so committed to the African Continent, why doesn’t he put even more of his own money into his foundation and less into building up his personal property portfolio, after all, how many houses can you live in at any one time? I wonder how many families of African descent he rents his houses out to?

As far as Mr Blair’s status as ‘peace envoy’ goes, I wasn’t aware he has single-handedly brought peace to anywhere? War, yes! But hang on a second, credit where credit is due! Mr Blair did have a big hand in sorting out the dirty ethnic cleansing in Balkans, and let’s not forget Ireland. Then again, his footprint is in Iraq too! He also appears to be ‘tight’ with Nursultan Nazarbayev, the President of the oil rich Republic of Kazakhstan, a place where democracy is a luxury, not a right.

Look, you can’t please everyone. I guess if I’m honest, what I’ve got against my former Prime Minister is this. Mr Blair always looks so bloody pleased with himself. I don’t know why I find that so off-putting, but I do! Maybe Mr Blair has a right to feel so bloody pleased with himself, after all, unhampered as he is by the need to please voters and Party members, he appears to have amassed greater influence on the international stage out of office than when he was in a serving Prime Minister. That’s a good deal for Mr Blair, but I’m not so sure its a good deal for us!

Meanwhile, Tony Blair faced angry street protests in Thailand last September after jetting in to advise the country on peace and reconciliation. The former prime minister was heckled after local news reports claimed he was being paid more than £400,000 to speak at a one-day conference in Bangkok. Protesters carried banners saying ‘Blair ruined the UK, stay out of Thailand’, and ‘Blair speaks, Thailand  pays’.

NEWS ON FURTHER DEFENCE CUTBACKS!

London: Red Telephone Booths

London: Red Telephone Booths (Photo credit: xgravity23)

It appears that the MoD intends auctioning off military airwaves (bands: 2.3GHz & 3.4GHz) to mobile phone companies for use by their civilian customers. Margaret Thatcher was blamed for the selling off of the family silver, was she not? It would appear that the present Government, with no family silver left to sell, is putting its fingers down the back of the sofa hoping to find a few coins. Further more, if in a future theatre of war a soldier under fire needs to call in an air strike, what is he expected to do if the line’s busy…run off to the nearest phone box?

WHO BECOMES PRIME MINISTER IF DAVID CAMERON IS KILLED?

English: David Cameron, Prime Minister of the ...

English: David Cameron, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and leader of the Conservative Party (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Interestingly, if the prime minister dies or becomes incapacitated there is no clear constitutional rule as to who takes over the government. This worries Tory MP Peter Bone, who has produced a Bill that sets out where cabinet ministers are in the pecking order. The backbencher’s Prime Minister (Replacement) Bill is due for second reading on Friday. It seeks to address the “lack of clear succession” should David Cameron be killed or become temporarily incapacitated and is unable to perform his duties.

In the present economic climate, and with our democratic rights being eroded on a regular basis, does it actually matter who takes over from David Cameron should he no longer be fit for purpose? As far as I am concerned, we wouldn’t be any worse off if you were to replace the entire cabinet with monkeys from London Zoo! If you happen to sneak a peek at Prime Minister’s question time on TV, you’ll know what I mean!

Regarding MPs well-documented drinking habits, and according to details released under the Freedom of Information Act, taxpayer-subsidised bars for MPs sold more than 65,000 alcoholic drinks last year. Parliament’s bars and restaurants – subsidised by more than £7 million – served at least 65,770 drinks between last November and this October. The top ten sellers in the Common’s Bar only were: Guest Ale (15,075), Beck’s Vier (9,504), Sauvignon Blanc (9,484), Merlot (7,085), Falernia sauvignon (5,729), Guinness (4,647), Peroni (4,318), House of Commons Merlot (3,494), Pinot gris (3,385), and Chardonnay (3,049).

Conservative MP Mark Reckless (how appropriate a name), a prominent Eurosceptic, apologised months after he was elected in 2010 for being too drunk to vote. That’s another thing…I do wonder how many MPs have been under the influence when voting on serious matters that affect our daily lives? I would rather an MP was too drunk to vote, than voted to change my life while drunk!

KAZAKHSTAN HERE WE COME!

English: The president of Kazakhstan, Nursulta...

English: The president of Kazakhstan, Nursultan Nazarbayev during a visit to the USA, 1997. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

David Cameron became the first serving prime minister to visit Kazakhstan as he began a visit to the mineral-rich country with hopes of boosting British trade. Allegations of human rights abuses are also on the agenda for discussion. Super Dave will explain to Kazak President Nursultan Nazarbayev that it would be unconscionable for GB to trade with his country until there is some improvement in the treatment of Kazakstanis. No doubt a 10% improvement will be implemented overnight in order to appease the British Press and ultimately the British electorate, paving the way for British-Kazak trade. Of course the groundwork has already been done by Prince Andrew and Emperor Tony Blair.

I’M SUING TONY BLAIR FOR BREAKING MY WRIST!

English: Connaught Square, W2

English: Connaught Square, W2 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I happened to find myself in the West End the other day. Realising that I had forgotten to post a credit card payment, I crossed the Edgware Road and headed towards a post box located at the end of Connaught Street W.2. I hadn’t realised that the letter slot had been boarded up, and why should I have? Anyway, as I reached up to drop my letter in the box, my hand bent at such an angle that I broke a bone in my wrist. It was a few days after I’d been to hospital that I discovered the post box in question was permanently boarded up due to the fact that former Prime Minister Anthony Charles Lynton Blair lived in Connaught Square, and that for the purposes of security the post box was out of service, just like my wrist! Now even if a bomb had been placed in the box and gone off…well, Connaught Square was at least 150 yards from the Edgware Road end of Connaught Street…oh for God sake! Anyway, I contacted solicitors ‘Cash, Rich & Cash,’ and await an outcome. Listen, if A.C.L. Blair didn’t live in Connaught Square the damn post box wouldn’t have been closed and I wouldn’t have broken my damn wrist! I’ve now had to pull out of my local pool and table-tennis leagues.

POWER IS AN AFRODISIAC!

English: Image of the front door of Number 10 ...

English: Image of the front door of Number 10 Downing Street, the official residence of the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Earlier this month there was a story in the ‘Daily Mail’ concerning the possible political fallout over an affair between two middle-aged, high-profile figures who work at 10 Downing Street. Neither is in the Cabinet, and by the way, the affair is now over. Even if the individuals involved are married to other people, it’s no one’s business but their own so long as while they were playing ‘hide the salami’ it didn’t impact on their professional lives, as I am sure it didn’t. What the hell is the affair anyone’s business but their own? We’ve living in the 21st century for Christ sake! As far as sullying the reputation of politicians in general is concerned, MP’s reputations for honesty and competence is at an all time low anyway! The so-called ‘moral minority’ should shut its big fat mouth!

FORMER ‘SPIN DOCTOR’ COULSON CHARGED WITH PERJURY!

Dr. Joseph Goebbels, head of Germany's Ministr...

Dr. Joseph Goebbels, head of Germany’s Ministry of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda. His masterful use of propaganda for Adolf Hitler and the NSDAP made him a prototype of the modern spin doctor in public conscience. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Andy Coulson, the former Downing Street ‘director of communications’ has appeared in Scot-i-land’s Glasgow Sheriff’s Court charged with perjury. Personally, I would let the poor man off! After all, lying for a living is a spin doctor’s stock in trade. It is after all his job to put a positive spin on a negative situation. A decent, effective spin doctor will lie at his own reflection. Can you imagine a spin doctor…any spin doctor visiting his doctor with an annoying problem?

“Doctor, doctor…I’m in terrible trouble…what can you give me?”

“But what seems to be the problem?”

“Doctor, try as I might, I’ve not been able to prevent myself from telling the truth, and as you know, there’s no room in politics for the truth!”

Historically Dr Joseph Goebbels remains the ultimate spin doctor!

STUDENT THROWS SANDWICH AT AUSTRALIA’S PRIME MINISTER!

Julia Gillard - Caricature

Julia Gillard – Caricature (Photo credit: DonkeyHotey)

Julia Gillard was visiting a school near Brisbane when a pupil threw what was INITIALLY thought to be a Vegemite-filled sandwich at her, however, after the sandwich bounced four times and left the classroom, it was later confirmed that the filling was in fact KANGAROO!

THE COST OF BARONESS MARGARET THATCHER’S FINERAL.

English: Margaret Thatcher, former UK PM. Fran...

English: Margaret Thatcher, former UK PM. Français : Margaret Thatcher 日本語: 「鉄の女」サッチャー英首相 Nederlands: Margaret Thatcher Svenska: Margaret Thatcher som oppositionsledare 1975 Русский: Маргарет Тэтчер, бывшая премьер-министр Великобритании (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was pleased to hear that the cost of Baroness Thatcher’s funeral was only £3.6 million. I’m glad the Government decided to DOWNSIZE. Uncle Jerry told me that when he dies he wants to be buried in a simple wicker coffin. I said that I could do better than that. I offered Uncle Jerry a hanging basket.