Over the last few months I’ve glimpsed at Real Housewives of New York, Beverly Hills, and Texas. They are mostly beautiful, toned, tanned, have beautiful straight white teeth, and live in luxury…but they don’t represent REAL housewives, do they?
Perhaps there should be a TV prog on ‘Real Housewives of ‘BURNT OAK,’ a multicultural town in Northwest London! The wives are big enough to attract the interest of Japanese whalers, what teeth they have are broken and green, many have English as their second language, and some are even in England illegally. Those that drive, do so on the wrong side of the road, in vehicles that don’t have road tax, insurance or a valid MOT. Hobbies? Horse riding, err, no, selling donkey meat from the back of a van, err, yes! Homes, rented, and decorated in police tape. ‘Crime scene, do not cross!’
I think wives of Burnt Oak deserve a series of their very own. Those that didn’t get picked by Immigration, would most certainly get arrested by the Fashion Police!
Episode One: ‘Signing on when you’re not entitled to!’
Episode Two: ‘It’s the Pol-ice!’
Episode Three: ‘Use the lavatory, not the Street!’
Episode Four: ‘It’s my baby, I’ll sell it if I want To!’
I predict viewing figures will go through the ROOF, unless of course you’ve had your TV stolen!