You may have the blood of the feared rapists, murderers and pillagers flowing through your veins! According to a genetic study carried out by BritainsDNA almost one million Britons alive today are of Viking descent, which means one in 33 men can claim to be direct descendants of the blond Norse bastards! Their rule in Britain came to a temporary halt at the Battle of Stamford Bridge, East Riding of Yorkshire in 1066 when an English army under King Harold Godwinson cut Norwegian King Harald Hardrada‘s pigtails. Unfortunately King Harold’s success was short-lived, for he was defeated and killed by the Normans (French) at the Battle of Hastings less than three weeks later.
But why am I mentioning something you can quite easily read in a book? Well, it occurs to me, should a serial rapist in prison in Britain today discover he has Viking genes, he could well apply to the European Court of Human Rights to have his convictions quashed on the grounds that he could help himself when raping women. His behaviour was predetermined by his Viking genes! You think I’m mad? I bet you sometime in the next ten years a prisoner will attempt to use that defence!
*By the way, it is a little known fact that the Vikings built long ships to compensate for the fact that they has short cocks. It must have been something to do with the Scandinavian weather.
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